I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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