yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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