she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
