SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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