Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
