Slut skills are useful in every country.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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