I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
