So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
