Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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