i would punch a child for taco bell
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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