ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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