forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
