Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
