wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
