I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
