words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
