Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
