i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
