Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
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