We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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