I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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