A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize