Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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