I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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