Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize