Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My balls are so social today.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize