My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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