I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
