So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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