singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
