is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
