If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
