Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
