I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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