When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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