u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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