I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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