I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize