the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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