Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
