It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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