Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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