Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
