They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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