ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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