I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
