So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
