Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Green mimosas i think yes
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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