Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
