dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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