she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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