he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
