Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
