Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Just puked most of my soul out..
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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