He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
