The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
