? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
