shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Can Purell be used as lube?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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